 New Sex Archive #1-50 New Sex Advisor Risky Menu  |
  Have YOU tried New Sex™? Luckily I had a pretty solid alibi. More importantly, she knows I’m not really into monetary things. Don’t get me wrong, I have financial goals that include a $25,000,000.00 Net Worth, but shit like jewelry and Gucci handbags are not what I’m interested in. Unfortunately, somebody else was very interested in shit like that which belonged to Cheryl. Here’s how it happened, exactly -- or as nearly as we can surmise: On Saturday night I came back from a 10-day trip to Miami (where I produced and directed a video about Tantra techniques for men.) Two hours after I got off the plane, I was thrusting deep inside two of Cheryl’s three available orifices, which is precisely where I remained (much to our great mutual satisfaction) until approximately 4:30 on Sunday afternoon. On Monday morning, somewhere between 9:00a.m. and 10:20a.m., an unknown suspect broke into Cheryl’s sprawling house and stole $50,000.00 worth of jewelry and Italian purses from her bedroom closet. She’s got high hedges all around the huge corner lot -- which makes it a perfect target for a cat burglar. I was on my boat making business calls all that morning, until 10:30a.m., when I called her main cell-phone (she has three) to hear her sweet, lovely voice. I was stunned when she began the conversation, “I just got robbed, somebody broke into my house.” Much to Cheryl’s surprise, a large contingent of male LAPD officers streamed through her stylish abode all the rest of that day. At about 5 p.m. the precinct commander himself arrived on the scene “to make sure my men are doing a good job, and to see if there might be any other needs you need satisfied right now.” Are you getting the picture yet? I’m telling you, this chick is The Bomb! Her place is a mess after being rifled by the burglar(s) and dusted by the cops, the maid isn’t scheduled to come until the next morning, so I invite her over to the boat for a bottle of red wine, some raw meat, and a hot beef injection. She gladly accepts. We eat, we fuck, we sleep. Our bodies feel like heaven together. Next morning I awake to find her blowing me. Imagine this: one minute I’m dreaming that I’m Indiana Jones, swimming after a Disney Indiana Jones-theme cruise liner, I catch up to the ship, climb up on deck, and get escorted to my deluxe cabin for a bath and some nourishment. Next thing I know, I’m awake and feeling this incredible loving suction and slobbery slipperiness all over my morning erection, and when I open my eyes I see this incredibly sexy Pamela Anderson-type blonde bombshell bobbing up and down on my raging hard-on. Are you getting the picture yet? Then we fuck. She climbs on top of me and those huge, beautiful double-D’s are hanging down in my face, and I’m just licking one nipple and then the other while she’s riding me, out of my mind with delirious pleasure because I LOVE that position, especially when I’ve got SUCH HUGE AMAZING TITS hanging down in my face -- then she lowers her torso down onto mine and her boobs are just wrapping around my head! Anyway, later that day she calls me from her car to say thanks for helping her in her time of need, and she invites me to go away with her for a weekend getaway to a deluxe spa resort outside of Palm Springs. “I really want you to go,” she coos in dulcet tones over the cellular airwaves. “This is my favorite place in the world, and they do really amazing treatments there.” “What kind of treatments?” I had no reference for this. “Ayurvedic massage, mud baths, sacro-cranial work. Please come -- I’d really rather not go alone.” I was wishing I had a translator. I had no idea what she was even talking about, but I was thinking Who am I to refuse a woman in need? (To be continued.) Tomorrow: 4th Psychological Element (Conclusion) Sincerely, Arte Founder, New Sex Institute www.NewSex.org 
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